It’s tough. On one level, I look forward to going to Pearland and seeing my Mom and brother and visiting Daddy. And yet, on another level, it’s painful.

When I’m in Austin, I go through the motions of my life with Donovon and the girls, our family and friends there, and work. I don’t feel as connected to Daddy when I’m there as I do when I’m in Pearland. Daddy’s life was in Pearland. When we would come to visit, he’d always greet us with so much excitement and enthusiasm. He would even call us on our drive to the house to find out exactly when he could expect us to arrive. He loved our visits, and I always looked forward to his warm welcome, his embrace, and his awe over how much Alexa, and later on Ava, had grown.

As I was driving toward the city today, it hit me how I wasn’t going to be greeted by him. It hurt. I miss him so much. At the same time, I still look forward to coming to Pearland. This is where I feel connected to Daddy. As I sit in my parent’s house tonight, I feel him close by. I can even hear his laughter echo. And I feel his love more here than anywhere. Although it pains me to be here, it somehow also gives me peace. I’m so grateful for that.

God I miss you, Daddy, but I’m so thankful to feel you nearby.